Fear and Change Update – endings, new beginings

By  |  June 12, 2011 | 

I handed in my resignation.  Change! Loss!  I will miss the radiologists, the nurses, the cardiologists, nephrologists, neurologists, the women who work in the cafeteria, the maintenance guys, the women who clean the floors, the IT guys, the residents, my beloved secretary, and my wonderful hospitalist docs.  This is the only place I’ve worked since I finished my residency, and the place I’ve spent many more waking hours than at home for the last 11 years.  Everyone’s cell phone number is in my blackberry.  This is where I learned to be a doctor and a boss, how to negotiate, how to hire someone, how to fire someone, how to run a meeting, how to make a presentation, how to be humbled by mistakes while still growing proud and strong.   I know new adventures await me.  I know I will make new connections and gain important skills, but it feels like leaving home.

2 Comments

  1. Rachel lovins June 13, 2011 at 9:34 am - Reply

    I am getting such wonderful emails in response to this from so many of you. Leave them here? I’m touched by you wonderful and supportive messages. Please know that although I was focusing on my sadness in leaving the hospital I “grew up” in, I’m going somewhere I think will be wonderful for me. I looked at many places and I feel really good about where I’m going, not too far away either, and still internet accessible so I will continue to write. All endings and all beginnings are sweet and hard and the older we get I think, the more it’s clear that it’s always mixed. I just read someone say, omg I think, embarrassingly , it was Suzy Ormand, that the goal in life is to be as happy in your sadness as you are in your happiness.

  2. Joe Miller June 13, 2011 at 3:20 pm - Reply

    Rachel:
    Friendships are founded in letting others see your vulnerability. You have made many friends with your blog post. Thanks for sharing. A few cliches for you to consider: Transitions are hard, but that’s how we grow. Nothing is forever; things change. …. Good luck. Your new employer is getting a gem.
    JOE

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About the Author: Rachel Lovins

Dr. Lovins loves learning about medicine and leadership, sings in a rocking band called the Inflatables and is married to a photographer named Andrew with whom she shares three excellent children and two small dogs.

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